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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Hey Ladies, Where's Our Hall Pass??

At some point, between the first time and the second time that the ad for the movie, "Hall Pass," I started to feel a slight twinge in my right forefinger. That twinge became a persistent poking that had spread to my entire right arm by the fourth or fifth viewing of the "Hall Pass" ad, and by the seventh viewing, I figured that I'd have to either change the TV channel, or scream my head off. "Hall Pass" stars an ensemble cast of c-list actors from television sitcoms, including that guy who looks like that guy from "The Hangover", but who's on "Saturday Night Live" in that red Adidas track suit doing the Running Man in that skit with that guy from that show that was on Nickelodeon. But I digress! "Hall Pass" is about a group of men who are given permission by their wives to indulge in a voyage of debauchery, with the understanding that after their romp, they'll return home to their significant others, fully sated.

What the wha??!!

I wish that "Hall Pass" was unique, but, sadly, it's just a carbon copy of "The Hangover", which starred that guy who's not Josh Lucas or Matthew McConaughey. And you might as well add in "Cedar Rapids" while you're at it, which, from its trailers, appears to be a mash-up of "Porkys" and "The Office"! In each of these movies, the men folk are free to roam, set loose on an open prairie populated by scantily clad ladies and a convenient and abundant supply of booze, snacks, and stripper poles. There are some ladies in these films who manage to keep their clothes on, though, and these women are called The Wives. They pop up at the worst possible moments, like when their husbands are having a good time with the scantily clad ladies, booze, snacks and stripper poles!

By the end of these films, the boys return home from their lost weekends, with a renewed and profound love for their wives. Sounds great, huh? HELL TO THE NO!!

So here's my question: where's my hall pass????

Answer: ask Thelma and Louise.

You all remember the film, "Thelma and Louise" don't you?? It's about two girls gone wild, out on a crazy tear after one of them suffers physical abuse at the hands of her significant other. Of course, this film doesn't include a cameo by boxer Mike Tyson, and the two titular heroines choose to hurl their car into the Grand Canyon rather than be caught alive! So here's the "takeaway" for us ladies - no hall pass for us!

You won't see "The Hangover Part 3: The Book Club Hits the Strip Club" anytime soon, or "Soccer Moms in Vegas" or "Bunko Gone Bad" at the local cineplex. You see, the sad truth is that when we think of women getting together and letting their hair down, we confine our thoughts to chardonney, shopping, and the spa.  We don't get a hall pass because why would we need one? We are the Thing Planners, the Schedule Keepers, the List Makers, in short, the responsible ones. While men will be boys, women will always be women, at least that's how it is in the movies. But maybe that's not really what bugs me about these films. Maybe, it's that these movies are telling a truth, all be it from one point of view. I'm just saying!

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