OMG! Not Another Kim and Kanye Headline!

March is National Women's Month and the theme is "Weaving the Stories of Women's Lives". And, in a strange twist of fate, as we honor women like Delilah L. Beasley (1867-1934), the first African American woman to be regularly published in a major metropolitan newspaper, the rest of the world seems to be celebrating another woman who is, also, regularly featured in every major metropolitan newspaper around the globe - Kim Kardashian.  Kim and her husband, Kanye, have topped the headlines almost daily since New York Fashion Week when her daughter, North West, had a meltdown front row at a fashion show while seated next to Anna Wintour. And the Ides of March have only increased the Kimye Krazy factor as they took their show across the Atlantic. And maybe it was jet lag, or too much sugar from those United Airlines ice cream sundaes they serve in business and first class (so good), but there's been even more of a frenzy: Look!! Kim's dyed her hair blond like that kid from "Harry Potter"!! Kim and Kanye are at the center of a photographer scrum at the Louis Vuitton show during Paris Fashion Week!! OMG, Kanye's written a song called, "Awesome" that's dedicated to Kim which includes lines such as these: 

You look too good to be at work/ You feel too good to ever hurt/I hope you ready for tonight/I'm gon cook, you'll be dessert.

And let's not forget the visuals to accompany this love story, including video footage of Kanye casing his wife's scantily clad form as she stepped out to greet her public in a sheer bodysuit and plunging bra, as well as a photo of Kanye with a death grip on his wife's posterior while they walked. 

I get it, Kimye - you're a married couple with a young child and you're feeling frisky and trying for a second one. That's your business. But, what's troubling is that the family business also involves your wife's body,or, specifically, one piece of her anatomy, and there's a name for that and it rhymes with "flooring" or "ostitution" (OK, that second word isn't even a word, sorry).  Every piece of video footage, every rap lyric, every photograph - these become part of a larger story, of our larger story as women. I'm troubled that Kim doesn't see that her individual choices have a larger impact, and not just because she is a public figure. She has the financial means to dress herself in a way that highlights her beauty, but she chooses, instead, to squeeze into latex dresses that hug her bottom, see-through body-stockings, and visible G-strings to keep the cameras flashing and keep the money flowing. There are young girls in this world being savagely beaten just because they dare to learn to read and seek an education while Kim brags on-camera about sneaking off-set at a fashion shoot (where she's clad in ridiculously expensive designer duds) to have a quickie with her husband! 

Look, I don't want to slut-shame Kim K. She can wear what she wants - it's her body, after all. But, I think we should dumb-shame her. That's right - dumb-shaming, because she should know better. She was raised in privilege and given an education that most of us are still paying off, and yet she refuses to engage in higher-level thought. To put it simply, she should not only know better, but she should act better. As women, if the stories of our individual lives are truly woven together, then as little North West grows into her womanhood, how will her mom's story affect her? 

Kim and Kanye and their Bouncing Baby Bounty

Amid the end-of-the-year countdowns, the fiscal cliff, and rumors of a Brangelina Christmas Day wedding, the last days of 2012 saw the world shaken by the news of an impending Blessed Event of Kardashianic proportions - that's right, Kim Kardashian and her boyfriend, Kanye West, are having a baby!! An occasion like this might call for cigars, although TMZ reported that sales of Kim's sex tape have exploded since the news broke of her bundle of joy. I know, I know, I shouldn't bring up Momma Kim's checkered past, especially since Papa Kanye's poor judgement resulted in POTUS calling him a jackass, but what kind of world do we live in when having a generous backside and taping yourself in the most intimate of acts become bullet points on your resume? How do these "assets" (is that too cheeky??) become the building blocks for a career in fashion and fragrance? And why am I supposed to celebrate that this not-yet-divorced woman and her lover/boyfriend are having unprotected sexual relations?

Now there are people who will wag their finger and say, "stop picking on Kim! That's her business!" And they're right, it is her business unless she tells the world and cashes in on it, which seems to be the plan. There are alleged offers already on the table for the first baby pictures, and discussions have begun in the entertainment press as to when the Golden Child will make his/her first appearance on the various televised Kardashian enterprises. Maybe Kim and her new Plus One will do a Sketchers commercial with a Mommy and Me spin to it! Or what about Kim K.'s Maternity Spanx for those third trimester struts down the red carpet. And what about in-utero hair extensions for that fetus who always wants to be camera-ready, even during gestation?

I'm sure the other famous fetuses out there are already feeling the pressure to outperform Baby Kimye. But embryo envy is ugly, and unnecessary. So listen up Baby Jessica Simpson and Fetus of Cambridge, let Baby Kimye have the spotlight, and you two just sit back and relax. After all, you don't want to risk a run-in with Grandma Kris!