At some point, between the first time and the second time that the ad for the movie, "Hall Pass," I started to feel a slight twinge in my right forefinger. That twinge became a persistent poking that had spread to my entire right arm by the fourth or fifth viewing of the "Hall Pass" ad, and by the seventh viewing, I figured that I'd have to either change the TV channel, or scream my head off. "Hall Pass" stars an ensemble cast of c-list actors from television sitcoms, including that guy who looks like that guy from "The Hangover", but who's on "Saturday Night Live" in that red Adidas track suit doing the Running Man in that skit with that guy from that show that was on Nickelodeon. But I digress! "Hall Pass" is about a group of men who are given permission by their wives to indulge in a voyage of debauchery, with the understanding that after their romp, they'll return home to their significant others, fully sated.
What the wha??!!
I wish that "Hall Pass" was unique, but, sadly, it's just a carbon copy of "The Hangover", which starred that guy who's not Josh Lucas or Matthew McConaughey. And you might as well add in "Cedar Rapids" while you're at it, which, from its trailers, appears to be a mash-up of "Porkys" and "The Office"! In each of these movies, the men folk are free to roam, set loose on an open prairie populated by scantily clad ladies and a convenient and abundant supply of booze, snacks, and stripper poles. There are some ladies in these films who manage to keep their clothes on, though, and these women are called The Wives. They pop up at the worst possible moments, like when their husbands are having a good time with the scantily clad ladies, booze, snacks and stripper poles!
By the end of these films, the boys return home from their lost weekends, with a renewed and profound love for their wives. Sounds great, huh? HELL TO THE NO!!
So here's my question: where's my hall pass????
Answer: ask Thelma and Louise.
You all remember the film, "Thelma and Louise" don't you?? It's about two girls gone wild, out on a crazy tear after one of them suffers physical abuse at the hands of her significant other. Of course, this film doesn't include a cameo by boxer Mike Tyson, and the two titular heroines choose to hurl their car into the Grand Canyon rather than be caught alive! So here's the "takeaway" for us ladies - no hall pass for us!
You won't see "The Hangover Part 3: The Book Club Hits the Strip Club" anytime soon, or "Soccer Moms in Vegas" or "Bunko Gone Bad" at the local cineplex. You see, the sad truth is that when we think of women getting together and letting their hair down, we confine our thoughts to chardonney, shopping, and the spa. We don't get a hall pass because why would we need one? We are the Thing Planners, the Schedule Keepers, the List Makers, in short, the responsible ones. While men will be boys, women will always be women, at least that's how it is in the movies. But maybe that's not really what bugs me about these films. Maybe, it's that these movies are telling a truth, all be it from one point of view. I'm just saying!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Lent: Not Just for Catholics Anymore!
I'm at that age where everything old is now retro and hip. My old neon Reebok high tops from high school are vintage, and Tupperware parties are ironic. And now we can add Lent to that pile. For those not in the know, Lent is a liturgical season of reflection that prepares us for the coming of Easter. Growing up Roman Catholic as I did, Lent was a time of rules, lots of rules - fasting on Ash Wednesday, no meat on Fridays.
Lent also meant giving up something. The nuns at my elementary school said that in order for us to understand the sacrifice that Jesus would make for us when he was crucified, we needed to give up something dear to ourselves. So, like Star Trek, the search would begin for that meaningful thing. In years past, I'd focus on certain foods, like French fries, or sodas, or meat, or desserts. Thus, my Lenten journey became a jump start to my diet.
Some years, I tried to give up bad habits that I felt were stifling the development of my personal character, like gossiping. But I didn't last long with these, and would soon find myself swearing off of French fries for the duration of Lent.
Now, I've found that my non-RC (that's short for Roman Catholic) brothers and sisters are getting hip to Lent. Turns out that people like the idea of affecting deep personal change in the span of one month!! Lent has become their very own makeover show. Don't get me wrong, I think that it's a good thing when people take some sort of inventory of their lives. But the Lenten sacrifice, like New Year's resolutions to lose weight or join the gym, can become a short-lived endeavor that's abandoned when it's no longer convenient.
I've found myself at the end of Lent lighter in girth, but not necessarily more spiritually aware. Lent can become a time of intense navel-gazing, but it also has the potential to direct your focus outside of yourself. So what'll it be for me this Lent? I'm still unsure, but just to be on the safe side, I'll just avoid the McDonald's drive-thru for the next 40 days and 40 nights - no use in tempting fate! I'm just saying:)
Lent also meant giving up something. The nuns at my elementary school said that in order for us to understand the sacrifice that Jesus would make for us when he was crucified, we needed to give up something dear to ourselves. So, like Star Trek, the search would begin for that meaningful thing. In years past, I'd focus on certain foods, like French fries, or sodas, or meat, or desserts. Thus, my Lenten journey became a jump start to my diet.
Some years, I tried to give up bad habits that I felt were stifling the development of my personal character, like gossiping. But I didn't last long with these, and would soon find myself swearing off of French fries for the duration of Lent.
Now, I've found that my non-RC (that's short for Roman Catholic) brothers and sisters are getting hip to Lent. Turns out that people like the idea of affecting deep personal change in the span of one month!! Lent has become their very own makeover show. Don't get me wrong, I think that it's a good thing when people take some sort of inventory of their lives. But the Lenten sacrifice, like New Year's resolutions to lose weight or join the gym, can become a short-lived endeavor that's abandoned when it's no longer convenient.
I've found myself at the end of Lent lighter in girth, but not necessarily more spiritually aware. Lent can become a time of intense navel-gazing, but it also has the potential to direct your focus outside of yourself. So what'll it be for me this Lent? I'm still unsure, but just to be on the safe side, I'll just avoid the McDonald's drive-thru for the next 40 days and 40 nights - no use in tempting fate! I'm just saying:)
Friday, March 4, 2011
Run Like Hell: A How-To Guide When Couples You Know De-Couple
While the world seems focused on Charlie Sheen and his polyamorous ways, I started thinking about the marital break-up that precipitated this current free-fall. While Charlie's plight has some very Hollywood elements to it, all marital break-ups have one thing in common: friends caught in the middle. And while no-fault divorce exists in the courtroom, in the living room or dining room or wherever friends gather, there is only war. Couples become friends with other couples, but if the marriage of one of those couples falls off of a cliff, then you might just find yourself hurtling into the void.
But how does this happen? Sometimes, it starts small, with little drips of information about the relationship being unintentionally leaked during an unguarded moment by Spouse A. Then, maybe there's an invitation to coffee where Spouse A wants to ask your advice about Spouse B. Next thing you know, you and your significant other are at dinner with this couple, and you're being dragged into the middle of a sudden disagreement between Spouse A and Spouse B.
But, you may say, I'm a reasonable person and I have a great relationship with MY spouse, so there's no danger in my counseling Spouse A. And I'd have to say you're completely wrong!
A marriage ending is like a bomb going off and it can injure those in closest proximity to it. So here's an easy to use how-to guide to get you through someone else's rough patch:
But how does this happen? Sometimes, it starts small, with little drips of information about the relationship being unintentionally leaked during an unguarded moment by Spouse A. Then, maybe there's an invitation to coffee where Spouse A wants to ask your advice about Spouse B. Next thing you know, you and your significant other are at dinner with this couple, and you're being dragged into the middle of a sudden disagreement between Spouse A and Spouse B.
But, you may say, I'm a reasonable person and I have a great relationship with MY spouse, so there's no danger in my counseling Spouse A. And I'd have to say you're completely wrong!
A marriage ending is like a bomb going off and it can injure those in closest proximity to it. So here's an easy to use how-to guide to get you through someone else's rough patch:
- Screen Your Calls - In this era of high-tech gadgetry meant to keep us in constant contact, you are always accessible. This is a not good if you've got a needy couple in crisis texting/calling/emailing every hour on the hour to tell you what an A.S.S. their significant other is. Call-screening is a time-honored practice, dating back to the very first answering machine.
- Get Thee to a Therapist - Maybe I shouldn't be the one that has to tell you this, but, guess what? You're probably not a therapist. Your combative couple friends may know that, but they willfully choose to ignore it when they start the Debbie Downer Download. And while it's nice to feel needed, don't give into the Siren Song of Seduction that is the Couple in Crisis. Instead, learn this phrase, practice it until it is burned into the synapses of your brain: "You know, maybe you should see a therapist." Now relax and breath. Ah:)
- Forget Neutral - Some friends of the de-coupling couple like to try to remain friends with both parties, and think that by stating this, and then listening to all of the pains and woes and trials and tribulations of both spouses that they're being fair and balanced and remaining neutral. News flash: there's no such thing as neutral in this situation. At some point, one or both of them will try to pump you for info on the other, and soon you'll find yourself called to testify in their testy divorce proceedings. Or, worse, your own spouse will choose a side and you'll find your own home life compromised as somebody else's mess seeps into your home.
- Stop Making Friends with Other Couples - After the couple has moved from crisis to counseling to divorce and onto living the newly single life, reflect back on your friendship and instead of trying to be friends with 2 people, why not try a friendship with one person. You see, couple friendships are so tricky because they're built on a false premise - the premise that if I like you that I must also like your spouse. That's such bunk! Friendship, true friendship, is a choice that happens when two people like each other and spend time with each other of their own free will. Deep friendship is an emotionally intimate relationship that grounds you and uplifts you. This isn't about liking one spouse and dis-liking the other spouse, it's truly about connection.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Putting the "Real" in Reality
With the announcement of the new cast of "Dancing with the Stars" (Wendy Williams - how YOU doin'??) and the introduction of yet another set of plump-lipped, tacky tarts clawing at each other in the "Real Housewives" franchise, it's clear that the Spring 2011 Reality TV season is upon us. And, like the award season that has just ended, capped by last week's Academy Awards, there will be some clear winners and losers in some of the more anticipated contests - will Ne Ne reign down blows on Star Jones in "Celebrity Apprentice?" And which of the returning baddies will be the last one standing on Survivor: Redemption Island?" But there's one reality show that tops them all and it stars Charlie Sheen, his Goddesses, his ex-wife, and his two adorable sons.
Perhaps you've seen it - on "Extra", or "Entertainment Tonight", or E!News or "The Today Show", ad nauseum and ad infinitum! The Charlie Sheen show is the hottest ticket in town, it seems, and everyone in the media has a finger in this poison pie. From his off-kilter Tweets to his intimate and sprawling 2-part interview with "The Today Show", Sheen has put the "real" back into Reality TV, with the reporters happily joining in for their 15 minutes! The interviews on "The Today Show" were some of the worst, with the reporter treating this like high camp, instead of a person's mental illness on public display. Sheen himself seemed to be in on the joke, too, smirking and grimacing with perfect comedic timing. Every now and again he'd put on the "reasonable man" voice, you know, the one you use in a sitcom when you're about to reveal something serious and weighty, only to be followed by a zinger that sends the studio audience into fits of laughter - and scene!
Only, this isn't a sitcom, where, in the span of 24 minutes, problems will be solved and then the credits roll. A line has been crossed. Hell, I wouldn't be the first to accuse an actor of being delusional, of making a character that he plays a part of his actual identity. And some actors will readily admit that they share lots of qualities with their on-screen alter-egos. Friends of the late Heath Ledger spoke of the extreme emotional demands that he faced when he portrayed the maniacal, murderous Joker in "The Dark Night". It seemed that the fragile line between real and unreal eroded to a point that it caused distress in the late actor.
So what does that mean for the Sheen Machine? Well, it could mean that he's taken on the persona of the glib, womanizing man he portrays on "Two and a Half Men" in some sort of Vulcan mind-meld. He has, literally, become the character. But some would argue that the character he plays on television is loosely based on the reality of Sheen's own indiscreet past. So, then, which Charlie Sheen is the REAL Charlie Sheen? Wow, I'm having one of those Absurdist Ionesco moments, again! I'm just saying:)
Perhaps you've seen it - on "Extra", or "Entertainment Tonight", or E!News or "The Today Show", ad nauseum and ad infinitum! The Charlie Sheen show is the hottest ticket in town, it seems, and everyone in the media has a finger in this poison pie. From his off-kilter Tweets to his intimate and sprawling 2-part interview with "The Today Show", Sheen has put the "real" back into Reality TV, with the reporters happily joining in for their 15 minutes! The interviews on "The Today Show" were some of the worst, with the reporter treating this like high camp, instead of a person's mental illness on public display. Sheen himself seemed to be in on the joke, too, smirking and grimacing with perfect comedic timing. Every now and again he'd put on the "reasonable man" voice, you know, the one you use in a sitcom when you're about to reveal something serious and weighty, only to be followed by a zinger that sends the studio audience into fits of laughter - and scene!
Only, this isn't a sitcom, where, in the span of 24 minutes, problems will be solved and then the credits roll. A line has been crossed. Hell, I wouldn't be the first to accuse an actor of being delusional, of making a character that he plays a part of his actual identity. And some actors will readily admit that they share lots of qualities with their on-screen alter-egos. Friends of the late Heath Ledger spoke of the extreme emotional demands that he faced when he portrayed the maniacal, murderous Joker in "The Dark Night". It seemed that the fragile line between real and unreal eroded to a point that it caused distress in the late actor.
So what does that mean for the Sheen Machine? Well, it could mean that he's taken on the persona of the glib, womanizing man he portrays on "Two and a Half Men" in some sort of Vulcan mind-meld. He has, literally, become the character. But some would argue that the character he plays on television is loosely based on the reality of Sheen's own indiscreet past. So, then, which Charlie Sheen is the REAL Charlie Sheen? Wow, I'm having one of those Absurdist Ionesco moments, again! I'm just saying:)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Oscar Night: Not with a Bang, But a Whimper
So the big night came and all of the questions that have plagued us for lo these many months can finally be put to bed: Will James Franco and Anne Hathaway pull an Oscar host fail? What will Nicole/Halle/Natalie wear? Who will curse during their acceptance speech? Will Ricky Gervais sneak into the Kodak Theatre and somehow upset this Night of Nights? And will Mr. Darcy - oops, sorry, Colin Firth win an Oscar for playing Queen Elizabeth's dad?
The Red Carpet
There's no way to begin an Oscar's de-brief without talking about the fashion show that precedes the proceedings, so here we go. We'll start with the A-team. Natalie Portman, who is now more famous for being pregnant than for acting, arrived at the end of the red carpet in a flowy, purple gown. Her hair in soft, side-swept waves, and her jewelry, demure and perfect. She looked pretty as a picture, which was pretty much what everyone expected, so let's move on.
Nicole Kidman arrived with her tiny Aussie hubby, Keith Urban, and a white dress that looked like it was having an identity crisis - a beautiful, strapless gown on top, and a kimono on the bottom. The red shoes didn't help, and that sad, skinny ponytail was the icing on top of this weird little fashion moment. Jennifer Hudson looked va-va-voom in Versace! There was a sweet moment between her and Ryan Seacrest as she recounted how only a few years ago, they had been together at the Kodak for American Idol. That she was able to reflect on just how fortunate she has been, even in the frenzy of camera flashes and double-sided sticky tape, just made me even more happy for this amazing, talented young lady. Halle Berry, after all of the tsuris with her tangled custody battle with her baby daddy, looked beautiful, as always. Nothing to see here!
And then there was Sharon Stone. That's right, in one of those wacky, "what the hell is SHE doing here moments", there she was, strutting her stuff on the red carpet with some big hair and that Cheshire cat grin. She looked great and it's clear that Helen Mirren must have taken her aside and told her to cut the crazy and celebrate looking amazing, no matter her age! Thanks Helen, and, by the way, you looked, as one commentator said, "bangin'".
I saw great short hair on the red carpet, and it was refreshing. Helen Mirren had a fantastic close cropped cut that could go from soft to bad ass. Cate Blanchett wore a short bob with some subtle layering that was fresh and sophisticated. It was a great compliment to her rather complicated dress - a Givenchy Couture number that looked like a Grecian column dress with a breast plate fastened to it.
The Hosts
When it was announced that James Franco and Anne Hathaway would be sharing hosting duties for this year's Oscar's, I cringed. Franco is a bit creepy. He's all over the place, making headlines for what could be interpreted as extreme multi-tasking or an identity crisis. Currently, Franco is directing a movie, starring on General Hospital, completing a degree at NYU, opening a bar, and preparing for a movie role. Anne Hathaway is like a Disney heroine come to life, with her large, wide open eyes, wide ever-smiling mouth, and a gawky, "aw shucks" posture. So of course it makes perfect sense to throw these two together to host the Oscars!
The evening began with a pre-recorded piece, using the concept of Chris Nolan's genius film, "Inception", and including Morgan Freeman and Alec Baldwin, who, along with Steve Martin, delivered one of the best Oscars I'd seen in a while when they teamed up last year. But, alas, a little bit of Alec was all we got. Throughout the evening, and the numerous and unnecessary costume changes by Ms. Hathaway, they taunted us with glimpses of hosts that we'd rather have. Late in the broadcast, out came Billy Crystal, the man whose hosted the Oscars eight times. I thought Uncle Billy was brought in to save us, but he was only a tease - he was there to pay homage to another great Oscar host, Bob Hope, so it was like a tease within a tease!
Bummer:(
The Awards
Let's face it, British people give the best awards speeches, hands down! "The King's Speech" director Tom Hooper was funny, eloquent, and he brought the whole, "thanks mom" to a whole other level, by giving her full credit for finding him the script that would become his Oscar opportunity. Colin Firth added a layer of introspection to his acceptance speech, wondering, aloud, if his career had peaked with his Oscar win. And then there was Melissa Leo with an acceptance speech for her best supporting actress win that would have made Dog the Bounty Hunter blush. Her meandering, expletive-laden rant took us all on a guided tour of Crazy Town! It was a pity-inducing moment - I felt more sorry for her than I did the frail Kirk Douglas who presented the award, at least he's still got timing and panache!! And when she hip-checked Kirk Douglas as she was exiting from the stage, attempting to make light of her befuddlement by grabbing his cane and feigning a hip injury, well that was just too much! This is why actors need writers, my friends.
One of my favorite segments is the In Memoriam tribute, but I was disappointed that they took my lovely Celine Dion and suppressed her vocal fire power in the service of that old chestnut, "Smile". I hated that that song was resurrected for Michael Jackson's memorial service, and I hate it even more now. Celine Dion having to sing that schlock is the musical equivalent of putting Baby in the corner, and NOBODY puts Baby in the corner!
All in all, the show was alright. Even though my beloved Chris Nolan was overlooked for "Inception", and what's with that guy from Nine Inch Nails winning best soundtrack over Hans Zimmer??? Ah well, I guess that's a wrap! I'm just saying:)
The Red Carpet
There's no way to begin an Oscar's de-brief without talking about the fashion show that precedes the proceedings, so here we go. We'll start with the A-team. Natalie Portman, who is now more famous for being pregnant than for acting, arrived at the end of the red carpet in a flowy, purple gown. Her hair in soft, side-swept waves, and her jewelry, demure and perfect. She looked pretty as a picture, which was pretty much what everyone expected, so let's move on.
Nicole Kidman arrived with her tiny Aussie hubby, Keith Urban, and a white dress that looked like it was having an identity crisis - a beautiful, strapless gown on top, and a kimono on the bottom. The red shoes didn't help, and that sad, skinny ponytail was the icing on top of this weird little fashion moment. Jennifer Hudson looked va-va-voom in Versace! There was a sweet moment between her and Ryan Seacrest as she recounted how only a few years ago, they had been together at the Kodak for American Idol. That she was able to reflect on just how fortunate she has been, even in the frenzy of camera flashes and double-sided sticky tape, just made me even more happy for this amazing, talented young lady. Halle Berry, after all of the tsuris with her tangled custody battle with her baby daddy, looked beautiful, as always. Nothing to see here!
And then there was Sharon Stone. That's right, in one of those wacky, "what the hell is SHE doing here moments", there she was, strutting her stuff on the red carpet with some big hair and that Cheshire cat grin. She looked great and it's clear that Helen Mirren must have taken her aside and told her to cut the crazy and celebrate looking amazing, no matter her age! Thanks Helen, and, by the way, you looked, as one commentator said, "bangin'".
I saw great short hair on the red carpet, and it was refreshing. Helen Mirren had a fantastic close cropped cut that could go from soft to bad ass. Cate Blanchett wore a short bob with some subtle layering that was fresh and sophisticated. It was a great compliment to her rather complicated dress - a Givenchy Couture number that looked like a Grecian column dress with a breast plate fastened to it.
The Hosts
When it was announced that James Franco and Anne Hathaway would be sharing hosting duties for this year's Oscar's, I cringed. Franco is a bit creepy. He's all over the place, making headlines for what could be interpreted as extreme multi-tasking or an identity crisis. Currently, Franco is directing a movie, starring on General Hospital, completing a degree at NYU, opening a bar, and preparing for a movie role. Anne Hathaway is like a Disney heroine come to life, with her large, wide open eyes, wide ever-smiling mouth, and a gawky, "aw shucks" posture. So of course it makes perfect sense to throw these two together to host the Oscars!
The evening began with a pre-recorded piece, using the concept of Chris Nolan's genius film, "Inception", and including Morgan Freeman and Alec Baldwin, who, along with Steve Martin, delivered one of the best Oscars I'd seen in a while when they teamed up last year. But, alas, a little bit of Alec was all we got. Throughout the evening, and the numerous and unnecessary costume changes by Ms. Hathaway, they taunted us with glimpses of hosts that we'd rather have. Late in the broadcast, out came Billy Crystal, the man whose hosted the Oscars eight times. I thought Uncle Billy was brought in to save us, but he was only a tease - he was there to pay homage to another great Oscar host, Bob Hope, so it was like a tease within a tease!
Bummer:(
The Awards
Let's face it, British people give the best awards speeches, hands down! "The King's Speech" director Tom Hooper was funny, eloquent, and he brought the whole, "thanks mom" to a whole other level, by giving her full credit for finding him the script that would become his Oscar opportunity. Colin Firth added a layer of introspection to his acceptance speech, wondering, aloud, if his career had peaked with his Oscar win. And then there was Melissa Leo with an acceptance speech for her best supporting actress win that would have made Dog the Bounty Hunter blush. Her meandering, expletive-laden rant took us all on a guided tour of Crazy Town! It was a pity-inducing moment - I felt more sorry for her than I did the frail Kirk Douglas who presented the award, at least he's still got timing and panache!! And when she hip-checked Kirk Douglas as she was exiting from the stage, attempting to make light of her befuddlement by grabbing his cane and feigning a hip injury, well that was just too much! This is why actors need writers, my friends.
One of my favorite segments is the In Memoriam tribute, but I was disappointed that they took my lovely Celine Dion and suppressed her vocal fire power in the service of that old chestnut, "Smile". I hated that that song was resurrected for Michael Jackson's memorial service, and I hate it even more now. Celine Dion having to sing that schlock is the musical equivalent of putting Baby in the corner, and NOBODY puts Baby in the corner!
All in all, the show was alright. Even though my beloved Chris Nolan was overlooked for "Inception", and what's with that guy from Nine Inch Nails winning best soundtrack over Hans Zimmer??? Ah well, I guess that's a wrap! I'm just saying:)
Friday, February 25, 2011
The Great Recession: Working for a Living
I've been taking frequent walks down memory lane, lately, back to an exciting time in my working life called the late 1990s. Maybe you remember them, too. Those were the days of video arcade machines in the break room, late-night pizza parties sponsored by your super-cool, jeans-wearing 20-something boss. These were the workplaces of the future, where job titles became less a description of what you do, and more a mission statement for who you wanted to be. There was no such thing as "overtime", because work was a precious, creative thing to be treasured and enjoyed, not a thing to be completed by 5pm and then picked back up again at 9am the next day. Work and play merged into this confused man-child, subsisting on a diet of lattes, sugar-free sodas, and Yoo-Hoo!
This was a workplace culture imported from Silicon Valley and its outposts of coolness - Seattle and Portland. You couldn't pick up a Business Week or a Wall Street Journal without reading about this new, collaborative way of doing business. Employers reacted, using an a la carte approach to add a few modest touches to recreate the young Internet start-up vibe - relaxed dress codes, flexible work hours, pet-friendly office space, and opportunities to work from home. But then it all stopped. First came the dot-com bust, and then an American tragedy that brought terrorism to our shores. Americans gained perspective and tried to find time for work and family. Work-life balance became the new buzzword and, aided by new gadgets, like our Palm Pilots and some new-fangled thing called a Blackberry, we were creating a movement where moms and dads could answer a pressing question from their boss while attending their child's little league game.
And then came the current financial meltdown. For those of us still fortunate enough to have a full-time job, the workplace is just that - a place where work is done. Lofty aspirations have been pushed to the fringes while we fight to make sure we have coverage by the company's health plan. Phrases such as "the end of the day" gained traction because the bottom line supersedes all else. We are stuck in jobs that may simply end, or, worse, may go on forever in a soul-sucking slow-motion. We are, in fact, working for a living.
For some of us, this all comes as a great shock to our systems. Our liberal college educations prepared us for a world where classes on the impact of Walt Disney on the feminizing of girls, or the role of romance novels in the courtship rituals of the western industrialized world would be valued. We attacked the math and science majors as lacking in imagination, when, in fact, they were developing actual skills with a market value. We assumed that the jobs of our dreams would be out there, waiting for us, and we found them, or we created them.
But for a lot of us, work has never been anything more than a means by which to put food on the table, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head. The hagiography of the 1990s work place was, to them, merely a grand delusion and a bit of corporate smoke and mirrors. The new reality of working life isn't so new to them. Maybe we'll never get back to those Halcyon days of your pet pooch in the cubicle, or 3:00am chats around stale cups of Starbucks in your conference room. Maybe there'll never be flannel shirts and flip-flops worn in an office again, but heck, that wouldn't be so bad now, would it? I mean, an office that smells like feet isn't likely to be missed! I'm just saying:)
This was a workplace culture imported from Silicon Valley and its outposts of coolness - Seattle and Portland. You couldn't pick up a Business Week or a Wall Street Journal without reading about this new, collaborative way of doing business. Employers reacted, using an a la carte approach to add a few modest touches to recreate the young Internet start-up vibe - relaxed dress codes, flexible work hours, pet-friendly office space, and opportunities to work from home. But then it all stopped. First came the dot-com bust, and then an American tragedy that brought terrorism to our shores. Americans gained perspective and tried to find time for work and family. Work-life balance became the new buzzword and, aided by new gadgets, like our Palm Pilots and some new-fangled thing called a Blackberry, we were creating a movement where moms and dads could answer a pressing question from their boss while attending their child's little league game.
And then came the current financial meltdown. For those of us still fortunate enough to have a full-time job, the workplace is just that - a place where work is done. Lofty aspirations have been pushed to the fringes while we fight to make sure we have coverage by the company's health plan. Phrases such as "the end of the day" gained traction because the bottom line supersedes all else. We are stuck in jobs that may simply end, or, worse, may go on forever in a soul-sucking slow-motion. We are, in fact, working for a living.
For some of us, this all comes as a great shock to our systems. Our liberal college educations prepared us for a world where classes on the impact of Walt Disney on the feminizing of girls, or the role of romance novels in the courtship rituals of the western industrialized world would be valued. We attacked the math and science majors as lacking in imagination, when, in fact, they were developing actual skills with a market value. We assumed that the jobs of our dreams would be out there, waiting for us, and we found them, or we created them.
But for a lot of us, work has never been anything more than a means by which to put food on the table, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head. The hagiography of the 1990s work place was, to them, merely a grand delusion and a bit of corporate smoke and mirrors. The new reality of working life isn't so new to them. Maybe we'll never get back to those Halcyon days of your pet pooch in the cubicle, or 3:00am chats around stale cups of Starbucks in your conference room. Maybe there'll never be flannel shirts and flip-flops worn in an office again, but heck, that wouldn't be so bad now, would it? I mean, an office that smells like feet isn't likely to be missed! I'm just saying:)
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Black and White: Halle Berry's Baby Daddy Drama
In recent weeks, one of the stories that's wound its way through several news cycles has been the on-again/off-again custody battle between actress Halle Berry and her baby daddy, Canadian model Gabriel Aubry. The former couple's back and forth has included allegations of evil diva-like behavior on the part of Berry, as well as an alleged pattern of verbal abuse on the part of Aubry. And it's the nature of Aubry's insults that are proving to be most disturbing, as it's been alleged that certain of his statements were overtly racist. That Aubry is white and Berry is black had been of little consequence during their relationship. As they appeared, hand in hand, on red carpets and awards shows, the world wondered how Aubry got so lucky to be with one of the world's most beautiful women.
When Berry became pregnant with Aubry's child, speculation swirled around when she would make a trip down the aisle to become a Mrs., oh, and what designer would sew her a perfect wedding day frock! Their break-up, then, though sad, was, in the world of Hollywood stylists, agents, and weekend grosses, the normal narrative for a super-sexy, talented and in-demand actress involved with a younger guy who was less established and less successful. Their break-up was announced by the usual and customary news release from their publicist, but what's followed hasn't been the norm. Aubry sued Berry for custody of their daughter, siting Berry's frequent travel as a factor, and Berry battled back, accusing Aubry of expressing rage when their bi-racial daughter was referred to as black. True or not, all of this is so ugly and deeply disappointing.
In 2011, interracial relationships would seem to be no more worthy of extra attention than men with pierced ears or women wearing pants suits. U.S. Census data tells the story. Prior to 1960, less than 1% of all marriages in the United States were interracial, but according to the 2003-2006 Current Population Survey data, 25% of unmarried couples living together were interracial. The Gallup Poll has been asking the question of Americans' approval of black and white intermarriage since 1958. That first poll showed that only 4% of Americans approved of interracial marriage between blacks and whites, but by September of 2007, the approval rate was 79%. That a certain U.S. Senator from Chicago of mixed-race heritage was running for the highest elective office in the land in 2007 may have had something to do with that September poll, but that's a discussion for another time.
But, are we as comfortable with interracial relationships as we claim we are? Michael Jackson may have sung that it doesn't matter if you're black or white, and Stevie Wonder and Sir Paul may have swayed to "Ebony and Ivory living in perfect harmony," but those were songs, what happens in reality? For every Heidi Klum and Seal, there's someone uncomfortable with their color-blind kind of love. While teens of different races may hang out together, eat together, and even sexually experiment with each other, they may do so with their racist attitudes intact. College - that great melting pot of higher education - encourages students to sample everything, and everyone. But some indulge while remaining fixed on their own narrow ideas about race.
Halle's story is a caution to us all. She may have had the handsome hunk that everyone wanted, and Aubry may have bagged the sexy Hollywood actress, but once you strip away the veneer, this black woman and this white man have to face who they are, and be something better. I guess that's the challenge and the gift of any relationship, black or white! I'm just saying:)
When Berry became pregnant with Aubry's child, speculation swirled around when she would make a trip down the aisle to become a Mrs., oh, and what designer would sew her a perfect wedding day frock! Their break-up, then, though sad, was, in the world of Hollywood stylists, agents, and weekend grosses, the normal narrative for a super-sexy, talented and in-demand actress involved with a younger guy who was less established and less successful. Their break-up was announced by the usual and customary news release from their publicist, but what's followed hasn't been the norm. Aubry sued Berry for custody of their daughter, siting Berry's frequent travel as a factor, and Berry battled back, accusing Aubry of expressing rage when their bi-racial daughter was referred to as black. True or not, all of this is so ugly and deeply disappointing.
In 2011, interracial relationships would seem to be no more worthy of extra attention than men with pierced ears or women wearing pants suits. U.S. Census data tells the story. Prior to 1960, less than 1% of all marriages in the United States were interracial, but according to the 2003-2006 Current Population Survey data, 25% of unmarried couples living together were interracial. The Gallup Poll has been asking the question of Americans' approval of black and white intermarriage since 1958. That first poll showed that only 4% of Americans approved of interracial marriage between blacks and whites, but by September of 2007, the approval rate was 79%. That a certain U.S. Senator from Chicago of mixed-race heritage was running for the highest elective office in the land in 2007 may have had something to do with that September poll, but that's a discussion for another time.
But, are we as comfortable with interracial relationships as we claim we are? Michael Jackson may have sung that it doesn't matter if you're black or white, and Stevie Wonder and Sir Paul may have swayed to "Ebony and Ivory living in perfect harmony," but those were songs, what happens in reality? For every Heidi Klum and Seal, there's someone uncomfortable with their color-blind kind of love. While teens of different races may hang out together, eat together, and even sexually experiment with each other, they may do so with their racist attitudes intact. College - that great melting pot of higher education - encourages students to sample everything, and everyone. But some indulge while remaining fixed on their own narrow ideas about race.
Halle's story is a caution to us all. She may have had the handsome hunk that everyone wanted, and Aubry may have bagged the sexy Hollywood actress, but once you strip away the veneer, this black woman and this white man have to face who they are, and be something better. I guess that's the challenge and the gift of any relationship, black or white! I'm just saying:)
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