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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Marriage Ain't Pretty!

So you all may have heard the news about the earth-shaking break-up of Ryan Reynolds and ScarJo. Ryan Reynolds, he of the adorable, slightly sexy goofball set, and Scarlett Johansson just announced yesterday that their marriage of two years was ending. The fact that two popular Hollywood actors had a marriage that lasted beyond two days may seem miraculous to most. And, given that Hollywood is a place run by the Pretty People and for the Pretty People, it's little wonder why that Seven Year Itch is on a more accelerated timetable and that People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive and the sultry, raspy-voiced ScarJo couldn't make a go of it.

Think about all of the Pretty People - Eva and Tony, Madonna and Guy/Jesus/etc., Reese and El Phillippe, Brad and Jen. Marriage is hard for these people. Forever and "til death us do part" have to be difficult concepts in a business where your shelf life can be suddenly shortened by the next big thing. They have the big wedding and the photo spread in InStyle and what are they left with? Marriage.

Headlines are written everyday about steamy on-set romances, nasty divorces, and elaborate budget-busting weddings, but there's never an US Weekly cover that trumpets "Hollywood couple celebrates 15 years of being committed to the everyday of their marriages." I take that back - you do see occasional articles on the art of the Hollywood marriage, usually as a PR dodge to cover up a crumbling union.

So why should we care? Because just as Hollywood influences the clothes that we wear, and the homes that we live in, the Hollywood marriage, that begins with lavish fanfare and limps along to a quick finish (but before the exclusive wedding photos are sold), has increasingly become the model for the Everyman marriage. Shows like Bridezillas and now, the awesomely awful Bridalplasty, give us a glimpse of the Not So Pretty People stepping up for their 15 minutes.

So here's my advice: Pretty People please stop calling what you do a "marriage" if you don't want to do the work. Take a page from the book of Prince William and his bride-to-be who are undergoing pre-marital counseling. That's right - Pretty People acting like Ordinary People. Or Brad and Angelina who, without branding their union a "marriage",  have all of the elements of a family, but set against exotic climes and international backdrops and private jets.

In short, stop monkeying around with marriage. You want to wear a big dress and have scads of photos taken of you? Then get yourself booked into a Vogue or W Mag photo shoot the way that God intended!

I'm just saying:)

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