Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Leave it to Bieber

If the latest tabloid reports are to be believed, then tween pop crush Justin Bieber got a stocking full of something naughty and nice during the Christmas holiday. Grainy photos of the shirtless sixteen-year old Bieber and the eighteen-year old Selena Gomez on an island romp made the rounds just after New Year's and the universe of Bieber fanatics have lit up Twitterville voicing their anger, disgust, and, apparently their blood lust.

That a pack of wild, texting 13-year-olds would be miffed at a Hollywood starlet for "stealing" their imaginary boyfriend is understandable, I mean when I heard that my beloved LL Cool J was pushing up on some weaved-up Jezebel back in the day, I got it twisted, too. But the Bieberites have taken things too far - issuing threats of bodily harm and even death to this young woman.

I don't get it! Not their love for Bieber - his questionable hair grooming choices, notwithstanding, it's a free world and whatever rocks your boat is fine with me. No, what I don't understand is why little girls texting messages of physical violence to a national audience is considered a prank from a lovelorn fan and not as a foreshadowing of future bad behavior. I didn't grow up in Mayberry U.S.A., so I know what can happen to a woman scorned. And even if you did grow up in your version of Mayberry, clicking on your TV will produce a daily supply of women acting more like thugs than like reasonable human beings. Heck, I'll lay down odds that the young Bieber bandits watch a lot of that reality TV - seeing a tawdry parade of women scratching, slapping, and punching each other over stolen boyfriends or baby-mama-drama!

We talk a lot about a culture of violence that seems to pervade society of late, but I wonder if you asked any one of these tweeting twerps the reason behind their angry words what they would answer. Would they even have an answer? Were their words misinterpreted? Does "I'm going to beat you up" have a different translation for the 12-16 year old demographic? I've heard all of the science behind the alleged adolescent mind, and its inability to process the consequences of its actions, but, right now, I'm experiencing a world where even adults seem to be working with the same teen aged grey matter and "acting out", so help me out.

My grandmother taught me that people choose violence when they can't think of any other solution to a problem. So let me help all of those whose hearts are breaking or have been broken by some unattainable teen idol: one day, maybe 10 years from now, or 20 years from now, you're going to see your teen idol, but he/she won't be a teen anymore. You'll pass them as you page through an Us Weekly and will say to yourself, "Wow, they [gained weight, lost too much weight, lost their hair, lost their teeth, lost their six-pack abs]; Whatever did I see in them?"  And you'll smile at how much you used to love them, and how happy you are that you've moved on to become a happy well-adjusted adult.

I'm just saying!

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